4 Loves: Affection

There are 4 words in Greek for the word “love” in English. In the next four weeks we invite you as a couple to discuss these words and their meanings. The first Greek word is storge which means affection.

1. C.S. Lewis writes in his book, The Four Loves, “Need-love says of a woman ‘I cannot live without her’; Gift-love longs to give her happiness, comfort, protection – if possible, wealth; Appreciative love gazes and holds its breath and is silent, rejoices that such a wonder should exist…” (p 33). In what ways do you experience for your spouse what C.S. Lewis describes as “need-love”, “gift-love”, and “appreciative love”?

2. We can feel love for something simple because we experience a need that is fulfilled by that thing. For instance if I am dying of thirst in the desert then I would love a fresh drink of water. But there is danger in this type of love, when it comes to marriage, because when the need is met the love ends. Please look up 2 Samuel 13:1-15 and read it together. Why was Amnon so foolish in this passage?

3. Commitment makes all the difference. When a mutual commitment, before God, is made to another person in marriage then lifelong love and affection can be cultivated and grow. Discuss some ways that you can refresh your commitment this week.

4. Spend some time expressing your affection for one another? (I love you because…, I adore this about you…, I am proud of you because…, I appreciate it when you… etc…)

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